04 Feb 2014

Top 10 People That You Will Meet at Wakarusa

Top 10 People That You Will Meet at Wakarusa

10. The Festival Virgin
They’re excitable, they’re young and they’re full of wonder. They’re also inexperienced and, sometimes, woefully unprepared. You may need to remind them to drink more water or loan them a roll of toilet paper, but, in exchange, you get to experience Wakarusa vicariously through the child-like perspective of a first-timer. Train them well. They are the future of your festival.

9. The Raver
Their clothes are so bright that you may need to wear sunglasses just to take a glance in their general direction. They claim to be festivals-goers, but they have never even imagined something as immersive and expansive as Wakarusa. They might school you on the Beatport Top 10, but be prepared to teach them a history lesson when you try to have a discussion about ’95 Dead Tour and the Gatecrashers at Deer Creek.

8. The Old School Hippie
He’s never heard of Bassnectar, but he can recall exactly how he felt in 1965 when Bob Dylan plugged in for the first time. He may not make it to the Sunrise Sets, but he will see more music between noon and midnight on the first day of the festival than you will see all weekend. He hasn’t had a haircut since Jerry died, and who-knows-what could be living inside of that beard?! But, alas, he was a trailblazer who probably has valuable wisdom to share with you. Listen.

7. The Wook
The Wook lives in secret. His place of origin is unknown. He has no car, no tent and no money. You offer him food, water and companionship. In return, you are subjected to outlandish tour stories and, most noticeably, an incessant reminder that deodorant is everyone’s friend.

6. The Jaded Vet
He saw Jerry 107 times and started listening to Phish the same year that you were born. Everything you say to the Jaded Vet is irrelevant. He loves to hate on anything and everything that is happening right now. Let him be.

5. The Hula-Hooper
They are one with the hoop. They can make that circle of fun move around their bodies in ways that defy all rational thought. The hooper typically arrives with a trunk full of hoops and a handful of costumes. And they’re always eager to share them with anyone who cares. Go ahead. Pick one up and show us what ya got. We’re laughing WITH you; not AT you. Promise.

4. The Campsite Snorer
Every camp has one. That mysterious freight train that barrels through your campsite every night just before you close your eyes. You take another shot of whiskey to try to dampen the noise, but it’s just not helping. Note to self: Remember to pack the earplugs.

3. The Brah
You can usually find them sporting a limited edition, hand-painted flat-brim cap. Their heady crystal wrap cost more than your first car. The Brah may pad his Phantasy Tour stats to deter any discussions about that year he spent hitch-hiking to John Mayer shows. The Brah loves Wakarusa. He is friendly, experienced and ready for whatever. The only question is…can you keep up?

2. The Lovers
The story is all-too-familiar. They met at Wakarusa. They fell in love at Wakarusa. And now, they are on their honeymoon at Wakarusa. Take a moment and listen to their Waka-Love-Story. Who knows–maybe you’re next.

1. YOU
You arrive as one thing, but you leave as another. There’s just something magical about Mulberry Mountain. It is a place that allows you to rid yourself of burdens and wash away past regrets. You reenter the “real” world as a more patient, loving and understanding human being. If you are returning to Wakarusa, then you know exactly what we’re talking about. And if it’s your first time….well, just wait. You’ll see.